My regular work is nature. It always is an inspiration for me.

Alive, abundant and peaceful nature!  

I recently did three abstract paintings. I often just need to express myself this way. I’m very shy to show these first inspirational draft. Especially if they transpire something very different. I would call it basic work. Contact with feelings.

Here is a bit of my story, I invite you to follow me in my studio while I come face to face with a white canvas

Earlier this Spring I was feeling stuck. Completely. Dead end (Cul-de-sac). Feeling like wanting to go running for hours…or cry a river! Mixed emotions and leg pain. Running was certainly not an option!

My sensitivity as an artist was high. My roommates told me: ‘’Put it on a canvas.’’

I did it! Without thinking, without any prep, without apron, I brought outmy largest white canvas – strong emotions need more space! – on the easel. a large spot of dark blue and red on it. With a large putty knife I began to spread it around. Just this movement, already, was liberating energy. More movements gave a dark blue tornado. With many thick layers. Next came the background, adding perspective. 

I told to myself :  »Above all, don’t think, go for what comes naturally ».

 Lots of free black lines followed. Finally, some white can be found at the source of the tornado. And pink on the sides were these words popped in my head ::

‘’ Arrête d’essayer de. Fais ce que.’’ Free translation : Stop trying to, go for it…

Enough for today, time to sleep on that. Leg pain was gone!

Believe me, do what you love, do what you have to, and you’ll feel better!

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The next day, when I looked at my work, I judged and rejected it :

 » This tornado, what the hell was that? »

So many trying layers beside those words : Stop trying! Then I tried – again ! – to take off some layers with sand paper. Bad idea! The canvas was scratched out!

I stepped back and thought : ‘’What do you want to do exactly? Just do it!’’

‘’Even if it looks different, or weird! If there is a place where one can be free, with no harm, no judgment, it’s on the canvas!’’

I had to buy more canvas and blue acrylic. Artist life!

On a new white canvas, I surprised myself with straight and clear lines in the background. The tornado came back, but well defined this time, even one more in the opposite direction. Not as scared of them now. Ready to look at them, composing with. They look smaller, even a little bit like rays now, with more light at the source.

Same in life : As soon a feeling is accepted, a movement follows. Evolution. Things are getting clearer.

A second canvas was inspired, still blue tones, same kind of background. I could see those clear solid columns. Lighter columns, or darker ones, depend of your point of view. Depend of your eyes. And space between. The wall was not blocked anymore. Blues are softer.

The obvious words this time: ‘’Voir ça autrement.’’ Other ways to look at this?

The tornado was gone. No need anymore. 

This one was a look behind the tornado. Simple composition.

That’s life. Sometimes, you need to look at it from a different angle, and things look different, things calm down.  

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I always wait one or two days to look at my work before to go forward.

The third canvas came completely different. Light is the center. We look at the source. The light is pushing away the dark blue. Lines are opening. Lighting movement.

‘’Am I in the center of the tornado? 

Is there a peaceful space in the tornado’s eye?’’

So. this is the story for this series. I like happy ending! Thanks for reading !

I looked at the scratch first one after that. I put it back on my easel. I tried and tried again. Yes, again! More layers. Really, nothing I can do, it’s stuck there: an awkward tornado. The most important moment finally. The necessary first step where you accept to look at how you feel. Only then evolution can begin, even if it looks weird ! I added a few close-up, like for the previous ones.

The whole series is a really good reminder:

if you reject your bad feelings, they will be stronger. They won’t go away. You have to see it, welcome it, look around, behind, inside… to find light.

© Marielle Dubois 19 juin 2023,

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